how to be a juni
buy a sketch book.
name it molly.
be born the year of ddong 82.
live in toronto.
sing really loud in skoo washrooms.
talk to your self
go out with cute fob girls and name them "uh-ee!".
wear like a half white-washed-rocker, half fob.
don't wear anything in bed.
be called "mama's boi" by everyone who knows you.
lock the door and sing loudly in the shower. that's the
only place where yo "big" bro can't stop you from singing
korean songs.
dont walk, dont run, fly.
check yo dad's hidden pager 40 times an hour.
tell not funny jokes and laugh at them.
lub ketchup.
chase after buses every morning.
eat any chink food like jook.
eat only raw red meat and fish.
eat la myun at raymond's house 3 times a week.
page people constantly with long voice mails
that have no point and get cut off right before the
punchline.
laugh like ah juh sshi.
self teach guitar lessons.
take korean art classes.
self teach how to write and speak chinese.
look like ah juh sshi.
laugh at people when they fall down.
laugh at bunnies when they fall down.
call a 1-800 korean ariline service # and talk about
your girl problems.
draw fob dudes and chicks all over notebook.
laugh at other people's mistakes.
tell not funny jokes and do a "ga wee" choom.
why im glad im not korean by somebody not juni
Date: Sat, 20 Feb 1999 15:02:51 -1000
From: somebody@overthere.com
Subject: Re: why i'm glad i'm NOT korean
Korean women are attractive (there was one in my
dorm two years ago who was totally hot), but:
Dating a Korean girl requires spending much
money. Very materialistic. Material desires are not
the way of the Buddha. You may as well just tell
your employer to designate your girlfriend's bank
account as the destination for your direct-deposit
paycheck.
Korean women are bossy.
When they're not bossy, they're whiny.
They'll slice a nam ja's boo lal off. That's all right, I
guess, since the man will never get any due to the
whole church thing.
Speaking of church, they'll make you go. You
might as well, since that is probably the only way
you can hear them call out "Oh, God! Oh, God!"
All Korean girls have Korean parents. Enough said.
Do you know how to say "That awful boyfriend
of yours" in Korean? Spend enough time with her
family and you will!
You probably won't be allowed to hang around
with your friends anymore. However, you will be
supplied with a new set of Korean friends that just
happen to be friends with your girlfriend. Now, you
can hang out with your friends and girlfriend at the
same time!
Anytime you do something, she will turn to her
Korean friends and say something that sounds
like "kimchi taegu kalbi ssumnida." Then they will
look at you and start laughing.
You will need to file a flight plan that lists
exactly where you are going to be for how long
anytime you need to be away for more than five
minutes. This does not happen very often, since
you only go where she tells you to.
Anytime the two of you have a disagreement,
her final argument will be: "It is not possible for
you to understand, since you are not Korean."
how to wake up juni in the morning
first, play some nice pleasant korean music.
dont, DONT screem his name, or you risk having your
head blown off.
gently coo him out of bed, talking nicely and
slowly.
do NOT, i repeat, DO NOT bang pots and pans
and laugh histerically. Under no circumstances
should you take your biggest spoon out and bang
them together by juni's ear. the consequences
could deem fatal.
cook some hot coffee and put lots of sugar
and cream in it and insert the scent go into juni's
ko.
do not, do NOT get a blow torch and attempt to
soder his hair follicles. he will react violently.
gently run your fingers through his hair and
whisper "hey juni its a beautiful day, come share it
with me!" in a cute girl's voice.
oh yeah, and whatever you do, DONT get out
that old baseball bat from the closet and start
whacking his across the temples as hard as you
can. he will not like that too much.
why juni loves being a korean
ish all about those spoons, man. those korean
spoons.
the way they swear in korean.
woo hoo
korean hair's JJANG!!
korean music.
the way they TRY to swear in konglish.
HANBOKS LOOK BETTER THAN KIMONOS
and THOSE STUPID CHINA HATS
THE METAL CHOPSTICKS! MAN, WHAT A
CONCEPT
KOREAN CHICKS ARE DA BEST!!
korean guys KNOW THEIR TAE KWON DO
koreans know HOW to WEAR clothes RIGHT
koreans hab da MOST FUN why DO
Chinkers and Nippers hafta lub dem?
no dat wasnt racist. im a gook! ME GOOK ME
GOOK!
woo hoo!
IM SUPER HYPER TODAY
HANA DOOL SET
koreans are stupid smelly kimchi eating
cowardish low self esteem freaks
[na2]
why im glad im not korean by somebody not juni
Korean women are attractive (there was one in my
dorm two years ago who was totally hot), but:
Dating a Korean girl requires spending much
money. Very materialistic. Material desires are not
the way of the Buddha. You may as well just tell
your employer to designate your girlfriend's bank
account as the destination for your direct-deposit
paycheck.
Korean women are bossy.
When they're not bossy, they're whiny.
They'll slice a nam ja's boo lal off. That's all right, I
guess, since the man will never get any due to the
whole church thing.
Speaking of church, they'll make you go. You
might as well, since that is probably the only way
you can hear them call out "Oh, God! Oh, God!"
All Korean girls have Korean parents. Enough said.
Do you know how to say "That awful boyfriend
of yours" in Korean? Spend enough time with her
family and you will!
You probably won't be allowed to hang around
with your friends anymore. However, you will be
supplied with a new set of Korean friends that just
happen to be friends with your girlfriend. Now, you
can hang out with your friends and girlfriend at the
same time!
Anytime you do something, she will turn to her
Korean friends and say something that sounds
like "kimchi taegu kalbi ssumnida." Then they will
look at you and start laughing.
You will need to file a flight plan that lists
exactly where you are going to be for how long
anytime you need to be away for more than five
minutes. This does not happen very often, since
you only go where she tells you to.
Anytime the two of you have a disagreement,
her final argument will be: "It is not possible for
you to understand, since you are not Korean."
how to wake up juni in the morning
first, play some nice pleasant korean music.
dont, DONT screem his name, or you risk having your
head blown off.
gently coo him out of bed, talking nicely and
slowly.
do NOT, i repeat, DO NOT bang pots and pans
and laugh histerically. Under no circumstances
should you take your biggest spoon out and bang
them together by juni's ear. the consequences
could deem fatal.
cook some hot coffee and put lots of sugar
and cream in it and insert the scent go into juni's
ko.
do not, do NOT get a blow torch and attempt to
soder his hair follicles. he will react violently.
gently run your fingers through his hair and
whisper "hey juni its a beautiful day, come share it
with me!" in a cute girl's voice.
oh yeah, and whatever you do, DONT get out
that old baseball bat from the closet and start
whacking his across the temples as hard as you
can. he will not like that too much.
why juni loves being a korean
ish all about those spoons, man. those korean
spoons.
the way they swear in korean.
woo hoo
korean hair's JJANG!!
korean music.
the way they TRY to swear in konglish.
HANBOKS LOOK BETTER THAN KIMONOS
and THOSE STUPID CHINA HATS
THE METAL CHOPSTICKS! MAN, WHAT A
CONCEPT
KOREAN CHICKS ARE DA BEST!!
korean guys KNOW THEIR TAE KWON DO
koreans know HOW to WEAR clothes RIGHT
koreans hab da MOST FUN why DO
Chinkers and Nippers hafta lub dem?
no dat wasnt racist. im a gook! ME GOOK ME
GOOK!
woo hoo!
IM SUPER HYPER TODAY
HANA DOOL SET
koreans are stupid smelly kimchi eating cowardish low self esteem freaks