Boys and Girls

What aSiAn Girls Hate about aSiAn Guys (from emails):

All you wannabes always talk about cars and how you want to fix it up and race and shit, but you don't even got a car! you just be driving your mama's honda accord with your GOT RICE sticker on the bumper.
You always wear the same shit on different days and spray the fake CK1 or the Uni shit.
You always have the same fades up the backside of your heads.
What's up with the bleached bangs?
You always brag about your 2-inch killas! shoo, you're asian dammit, admit it!
You think that dropped Civics are cool but are played out.
You always brag about breaking and how you can freak and shit but you can't move at all. so watch Soul Train and PRACTICE!
When you go to a party, you go in all the fixed up cars and leave your broke ass datsun two blocks away.
You all go to the mall and "kick it" looking for all the 12 yr. old girls with their puffy marshmellow jackets or nautica shirts with big boobs and their wonder bras.
You think that your import car is hella tight, but your mama paid for it, so get you broke ass to work.
On the phone, you guys try to sound all deep and always start a conversation with "Wassup..." but in person, you squeak like a damn mouse.
All you guys freaking share the same girl and you may think that you are all player, but realize that maybe you are the one being played. so there!
On your beepers you have a funky little song but it's only backround noise so stop and leave a damn message.
And when you recieve a page you always say it's your bitch, but it's really your mama telling you to get your broke ass home cuz she needs her car to go to the market.
you always wear those skimpy "wife-beaters", thinking you got a body to sport, but you got to get your ass to the gym and really look good.
All you freakin ugly guys get girls by having the nicest cars, but reality check! it's your car we want and not you. "The nicer the car, the smaller the dick!"
All you deejays that let us in and say that you are using us for sex. all times, we faked the orgasms and hey, we got in the club didn't we. and hey, we didn't leave with you, we left with the bouncers, cuter than your asses!!
Superficial and shallow? no, you conceited bastards take pictures squatting in front of your supposed fixed up car, but it's not even yours.
And when you stand up, you scrunch your crotch making a bigger bulge, but the truth is you are just checking if it's still there, or if the sock is still in place.
You guys that sagg your pants, are just trying hide your flat ass, and you always probably buy 2 sizes bigger shoes making your feet look bigger, but it's not. chill with your size 7 shoes already.
And in the chatrooms, you assholes ask "where are all the fine girls at" and also ask "anyone got a gif to trade" but you don't got one yourself.
You think that any girl with long straight hair, big fake boobs, and a tight midriff is fine but all you want to do is fu*k her.
You think that bumping music in your car is dope, so that all the cars around you vibrate. But you are only hurting yours, ours, and your mamas ears. watch out, you are gonna get a fixing ticket.
On your hondas and acuras, your headlights are different and damn that's annoying, but watch out you are gonna get a fixing ticket again. and your mama's gonna take the car away.
Hey and you guys that wear FUBU, army looking pants, beenies with sunglasses, and warm-ups with slippers and dirty socks, that's out and for one thing, UGLY. Do you guys share clothes?
You think that taking a shower is rinsing your hair in the sink. yuk!
You guys drool over car magazines and wish you had the cars that them fob girls owned.
and about your dick size, shoe size x's 2 divided by three... equals the length of your manhood, which isn't much huh?
When it's 100 degrees outside, you guys wear those puffy jackets or all match with your Nautica jackets.
And you tell your guy friends that you went to a club and got a grip of numbers, actually it's another guys number who just wants to know where you got your car fixed up at.
You guys that sport that "baller look" only have it to say you ball and you always keep those damn clean, but HELLO! if you balled, you would think...
And you guys that got an automatic car, you pretend it's a stick, reving it like a stick and making it sound like a stick by downshifting to 2nd gear.
You guys use your damn fake id's to get cigarettes, but you get caught.
Older guys go to them all ages clubs and hook up with a 13 yr. old and then you tell your homeboys that they are 18.
You wannabe gansters have your guns, but are damn cowards anyway. and when something does go down, you say you are gonna go to the car to get your gat, but you come back when everything is over.
When you guys mack with your girl, you think licking her ears is a turn on but look it feels nasty and makes this funny noise that makes us grind our teeth. stop it alright its sick..
You guys think you could get us into bed and say we are easy. but guess what. we just have to fulfill an urge..
This is to all you wannabe sweet talking guys please chew some gum before you say anything to us because that breath be kicking worse then BRUCE LEE.

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What Asian Guys Hate About Asian Girls (from emails):

You all wear too much make-up to try to impress the guys when we clown on the gurl with the most make-up.

You all go the mall in clans looking the same.

You think any import car with any modification on it is "hella tight".

You all say "hella" too much. Example: "Dats hella fucked up" or "Dats hella tight yo"

You all have fake ass high pitched voices.

You only go out with guys that drive a Civic or Integra and it has to be fixed up. Like you gurls know about cars anyways...

You all secretly compete to see who gets the finest guy and when you've won, that same guy fucks your best friend.

You are all too damn superficial and shallow.

You all think you're just sooo cute with that fake ass cutie act. I hate to ruin it for you girls, but us guys just pretend to fall for that shit.

And on AOL you have to tYpE lYkE tHiS aNd iT'z rEaLlY aNnOyInG...And to guys that type like that, You're a queer!

On all of your voicemail greetings you say the same thing. Example: "Wassup wassup wassup to?! You hit it up to mah pager (No shit!!), and before I go I want to give some shout outs to mah friends: 12, 87, 213, 666, 123, ABC...And mah baby boo 69 I love you baby...A'ight peace. And of course you have some played out slow jam playing in the background as your fake voice is saying the above. Hey hey! We can't understand a fucking word you're saying, so shut up!

All the fat ones weat the tightest fitting clothes. Eeewwww!!!

You all are trend followers, well that goes for the guys too, but not me. Hell no...

In chatrooms, the first thing you say is "Where are all the foine guys at?" Oh like you're all that yourself. All the gine guys are out with girls. Not on AOL like your desparate ass.

You do not look good in those puffy jackets. You look like the friggan marshmallow man with long hair. And guys, why do you wear those jackets when it's a 100 degrees outside? You look stupid.

You think any bald guy is "foine". The "Mr. Clean" look is played.

A Civic is a commuter car!! Not a Ferarri, so stop dreaming!!

You all listen to the same music.

Polo and Nautica aren't the only brands that exist you narrow minded trend follower.

When it's like 10 degrees outside, you bitches still wear daisydukes and other hoe clothes to a club.

You girls think you're soo cool that when you get to a club, you pretend to find your name on the guest hookup list to get in the club for free, but your sorry ass just ends up paying like the rest. Lemme tell you something. Girl you aren't special! Deal with it!

You think you're the shit cuz you got in with the DJ who is just using you for sex.

And girls, just cuz you can't find a guy to dance with, you all get together into a little corner and dance alone so that when you go home, you can tell your friends that you did dance that night.

You girls wear Nike, and half of you all can't even play ball!!

All of you lie and say how can race when you can't even drive a stick! Go with your dad's 1989 gray Camry with only one headlight working...

You teenie boppers think you're the shit using those fake ID's to get clubs. The bouncer knows it's fake, but he falls for your damn cutie pie act. So you get in and tell everyone that you're 19 or 20 and try to mack on guys with nice cars. Then one of those guys fucks you and then forgets you. Haha! You deserve it! Stick to your high school dances until you're 18 a'ight??

And you AOL girls ask us for a GIF when you end up not sending yours cuz your ugly ass don't have one. Your ugly ass ain't worth a scan.

The stupidest think I've seen an Asian girl do: Have a screen name like "Tommygirl". He's a fucking racist bastard you stupid hoe!!

You all think you're so kool hanging out with wannabe gangsters. Well ladies, I hate to break it to you. They're only using for sex. Nothing else. They don't give a rat's ass about you. They're just a buncha wannabes with guns cuz they can't fight.

And finally ladies, you are all stuck up hoes that think you're all that, and you believe anything any guy tells you cuz you're a used up dirty whore.

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Rules About Guys

trust your instinct
if u sense something`s wrong, then something must be wrong
don`t do everything he asks u to
if u think he is cheating on you , then he probably is
don`t believe in everthing he says
don`t ignore your friends for him
don`t let your weakness ruin your life
when it`s time to let go....u let go
he is not the only guy in the world
there`s tons guys out there that`s better than him
make him watch a romatic movie with you once a month
guys lie
if u feel something is wrong, don`t waste your time on him
don`t cry for a guy, cuz it`s not worth it
it`s his loss that he dump you
he haven`t called you for more than 2 days, something is wrong
he thinks u r caring is annoying, then he doesn`t love you
he says he can`t hang out with you for the weekend,he`s lying..totally
he brings you to his house to meet his parents-don`t mean anything
he keeps his ex`s pic in his wallet or anywhere that`ll piss u off, he doesn`t love you

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Rules that guys wished girls knew...

If you think you`re fat, you probably are. Don`t ask us...
Learn to work the toilet seat: if it`s up, put it down...
Don`t cut your hair. Ever...
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!
If you ask a question you don`t want an answer to, expect an answer you don`t want to hear...
Sometimes, he`s not thinking about you. Live with it...
Don`t ask him what he`s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks...
Get rid of your cat. And no, it`s not different, it`s just like every other cat...
Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period...
Sunday = Sports. It`s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be...
Shopping is not sport...
Anything you wear is fine. Really...
You have enough clothes...
You have too many shoes...
Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don`t expect us to like it
Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too...
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don`t work...
No, he doesn`t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar...
Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We`re bound to miss sometimes...
Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we`d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers...
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor...
Your Mom doesn`t have to be our best friend...
Foreign films are best left to foreigners...
Check your oil...
Don`t give us 50 rules when 25 will do...
Don`t fake it. We`d rather be ineffective than deceived...
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together...
Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument...All comments become null and void after 7 days...
If you don`t dress like the Victoria`s Secret girls, don`t expect us to act like soap opera guys...
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one...
Let us ogle. If we don`t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
Don`t rub the lamp if you don`t want the genie to come out...
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both...
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials...
Christopher Columbus didn`t need directions, and neither do we...
Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at...
Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
Telling us that the models in the men`s magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it`s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines...
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out...
Anyone can buy condoms...

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here's a few reasons why guys like girls:

They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
How cute they look when they sleep
the ease in which they fit into our arms
the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
How cute they are when they eat
The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while
because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
the way they look good no matter what they wear
the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
How cute they are when they argue
the way her hand always finds yours
the way they smile
the way you feel when you see their name on the call display after you just had a big fight
the way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
actually... just the way they kiss you...
the way they fall into your arms when they cry
then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
then the way apologize when it does hurt ..(even though we don't admit it!)
the way they say "I miss you"
the way you miss them
the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

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The Single Rose

"John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.

His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, but with the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell.

With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond. The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding.

Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.

When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. "You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel."

So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved,but whose face he'd never seen.

I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:
A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured.

Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell.

She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own.

And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be grateful.

I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman,even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment. "I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard, and you must by Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"

The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"

It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."

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WHAT THE LINES REALLY MEAN

Haven`t I seen you before? = Nice ass.
I`m Romantic. = I`m poor.
I need you. = My hand is tired.
I`m different from all the other guys. = I`m not circumcised.
I want a commitment. = I`m sick of masturbating.
You`re the only woman I`ve ever cared about. = You are the only woman who hasn`t rejected me.
I really want to get to know you better. = So I can tell my friends about it.
I don`t know if I like her. = She won`t sleep with me.
I miss you so much. = I`m so horny that my dog is starting to look good.
Was it good for you? = I`m insecure about my manhood.
How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my dick really that small?
I had a wonderful time last night. = Who the hell are you?
Do you love me? = I`ve done something stupid and you might find out.
Do you really love me? = I`ve done something stupid and you`re going to find out sooner or later.
How much do you love me? = I`ve done something really stupid and someone`s on their way to tell you.
I`ve been thinking a lot. = You`re not as attractive as when I was drunk.
I think we should just be friends. = You`re ugly.
I`ve learned a lot from you. = Next!!!!

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DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn`t want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there`s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn`t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won`t change but she does.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
There are 2 times when a man doesn`t understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

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Women`s English
==============
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I`m sorry. = You`ll be sorry.
We need = I want
It`s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You`ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure ... go ahead = I don`t want you to.
I`m not upset = Of course I`m upset, you moron!
You`re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You`re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I`m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you`re really not going to like
I`ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a game on TV.
Is my but fat? = Tell me I`m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you`re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don`t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I`m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
The answer to "What`s wrong?"= ______________
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It`s just that you`re such a jerk

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Men`s English
============
I`m hungry. = I`m hungry.
I`m sleepy. = I`m sleepy.
I`m tired. = I`m tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice tits!
You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
What`s wrong? = I don`t see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
What`s wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What`s wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I`m bored. = Do you want to have sex?
I love you. = Let`s have sex now.
I love you, too. = Okay, I said it...we`d better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn`t look that much different!
Let`s talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you`d like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any f***ing dress and let`s go home!
I don`t think that blouse and that skirt go together = I`m gay.

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[ mAi GiRl.. ] mai perfect girl list
[ 1o0 wAys ] 101 ways
[ ruLeS ] rules for strong relationship(s)
[ sEcreTs 1 ] secrets to make girls happy
[ SeCrEts 2 ] secrets to make guys happy
[ rEjEctiOnS ] rejecion lines and what they really mean
[ LOvE ] love
[ bOiz vs. GirLs ] boiz agains girlz

[ bAck 2 rOmaNce ]

Boys and Girls

[ mAi GiRl.. ] mai perfect girl list [ 1o0 wAys ] 101 ways [ ruLeS ] rules for strong relationship(s) [ sEcreTs 1 ] secrets to make girls happy [ SeCrEts 2 ] secrets to make guys happy [ rEjEctiOnS ] rejecion lines and what they really mean [ LOvE ] love [ bOiz vs. GirLs ] boiz agains girlz

[ mAi GiRl.. ] mai perfect girl list
[ 1o0 wAys ] 101 ways
[ ruLeS ] rules for strong relationship(s)
[ sEcreTs 1 ] secrets to make girls happy
[ SeCrEts 2 ] secrets to make guys happy
[ rEjEctiOnS ] rejecion lines and what they really mean
[ LOvE ] love
[ bOiz vs. GirLs ] boiz agains girlz