You carry a pager in your right pocket, flipped inward,
whether its activated or not.
Your bangs are either long enough for you to touch with your tongue, or your hair
is gelled up in spikes hard enough to impale small mammals.
You go to asian parties, and you can't find your car since it looks like every other civic or integra.
Your screen name consists of Azn, 1004, or KP,
and every word in the profile is written in alternating lower case/capital letters.
Your girlfriend has enough make-up
to be accepted into Clown College.
You never fit that old asian
stereotype of "all yellow skinned slant eyes are smart."
You enter chatrooms with
"representin Westsiiiiiiide," or "any foin ladees in da house?"
You pick up chicks who wear shoes 2
inches away from stilts.
You call people "peepz"
since two syllables is too complex for you.
You don't know the names of cities;
only area codes.
Instead of getting real education,
you learn a plethora of nonsensical pager codes. (for god sakes, buy a message pager...if
you even need one.)
You've never heard of any other
sporting wear then Nike. (Reebok? What's that?)
You can't buy a shirt unless it's
priced over $ 50 and has a collossal sized Tommy Hillfiger, or Polo label.
You've never bought a pair of pants
that were less than 5 sizes bigger than your real waist.
You're an exact carbon-copy of your
friends. (for their traits, see 1-18)
You claim asian pride wherever you
go, when all you're doing is shaming the race.
you have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
you have 12+ aunts and uncles
at expensive restaurants, you order a delicious high quality glass of H2O for your beverage and
NEVER order dessert.
your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it
anyway. It's still good."
the vast majority of the people related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
you will most likely be taller than your parents.
your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.
you get nothing if you do well in school, but get in big trouble if you don't
when going to other peoples' houses, you always have to bring a gift.
your dad still pulls his socks up to his knees, you know, the ones with the blue and
pink stripes at the top.
your family owns a tennis racquet, golf clubs, or both.
your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV (i.e., Michael Chang)
the furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations
or any of the rest of the furniture.
you have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry
for use as medicine.
you own a rice cooker or two
you buy soy sauce by the gallon.
your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible
the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into
it" and wear it for years to come.
lists from ma lil friend....*-sSSHHh-*
Your dream goal is to become a DJ or own a racing parts store (Guys).
Your dream goal is to go out with a DJ or a racing parts store owner(Girls).
Other races (whites, blacks, beaners, and etc.) always refer to you as "Chinese or something"
You believe that the Acura Integra or Honda Civic are the fastest cars in the world.
Your mom buys noodles in bulk amounts.
You don't care that hundreds of other people have the same exact haircut as you do.
Being Filipino is the "in" thing to be.
Your favorite holiday is the day "Import Showoff" comes to town.
You're proud to be what you are but would hate to live in your own country.
Rice is worshiped in your home.
You have a Japanese scripted decal on your car that says "Miyagi's Sushi", but you keep it there anyways because no one could read it anyways, plus it looks cool.
No matter what crime you do, it never ends up in the evening news or front page of the paper.
When you go to a house party, there is 1 girl to 10 guys. All you see is couples dancing in the middle of a circle of guys wishing they had a girlfriend.
You work quadruple shifts on minimum wage just so that you could buy an Integra or Civic or buy racing parts for your civic or integra.(for cambodians) you work in your donut shop for 24 hours a day days a week just so you can buy a civic or integra and/or buy racing parts for your integra or civic.
You are the majority at all of the universities, but the minority in any sports.
You try your hardest to buy the name brand clothes..(polo,nautica,tommy) but instead you buy it at default stores (marshalls, ross, tj max) or just you say fuck it and buy fake ones from your local indoor swap meet.
No matter what other races say about you, it doesn't matter cuz you're damn, hell ass proud to be Asian. Why?? Because it beats being called a Redneck, Nigger, or Beaner right??? "Chinks" sound aesthetically better.
a list sent by.... <-jAckeE->
Your dream goal is to become a DJ or own a racing parts store (Guys).
Your dream goal is to go out with a DJ or a racing parts store owner(Girls).
Other races (whites, blacks, beaners, and etc.) always refer to you as "Chinese or something"
You believe that the Acura Integra or Honda Civic are the fastest cars in the world.
Your mom buys noodles in bulk amounts.
You don't care that hundreds of other people have the same exact haircut as you do.
You're proud to be what you are but would hate to live in your own country.
Rice is worshiped in your home.
No matter what crime you do, it never ends up in the evening news or front page of the paper.
When you go to a house party, there is ratio of 1 girl to 10 guys. All you see is couples dancing in the middle of a circle of guys wishing they had a girlfriend.
You work quadruple shifts on minimum wage just so that you could buy an Integra or Civic or buy racing parts for your civic or integra.
No matter what other races say about you, it doesn't matter cuz you're damn, hell ass proud to be Asian. Why?? Because it beats being called a Redneck, Nigger, or Beaner right??? "Chinks" sound aesthetically better.
